When spud first came home we were very careful to keep everything the same. Meals, walks to the same park, clothes, routine etc. we worked very hard to ensure there were no surprises, shocks and to protect him as much as we could from unexpected situations. We made sure that we planned as much as we could, talked about the future and were very boring and predictable in day to today life.
I know that I tried to protect Spud too much, I would do all I could to make sure I and others did what they said they were going to do, turned up on time, kept to the “rules” and didn’t let Spud down.
At home when the boiler needed replacing, I planned the day with military planning so Spud was not effected. The fire in our front room did not work but we left it there so Spud did not have the change to deal with.
I was always concerned that putting Spud into this bubble where I controlled everything would not help in the long run as life is just not like that.
We are now 3.5 years I and I am trying my best to “relax” a bit more. Accept it when things do not go to plan and try to go with the flow a bit more. Of course this is not easy and Spud will blame me if the weather is not what he expected or the friend who said he would be here at 4pm does not turn up until 4.30pm but together we are learning to work with change.
We started with small changes, a new bed and duvet cover were chosen by Spud only a couple of months ago. Each time I raised the subject I was met with a resounding NO! This was a big step forward.
Last month I had all my hair chopped and that was a big change. He coped with the change.
I have wanted to decorate the house but knew that Spud with not cope with the decorators being in the house, the routine having to be changed or the different end result. Over the past 2 weeks we have had the house decorated, it has not been easy and they and the mess are still here but the end is in sight. Spud has had a few wobbles and 9 days in he and I are ready for the decorators to leave but he has coped. I am very proud of how he has dealt with the changes and how he has told me how difficult he is finding it.
I am so proud of how he has gone with the flow and managed the changes.
I think for the next few months, no more changes as he has the end if the school year, the sumner holidays and a new school year to deal with.
So, how go you cope with change?