Just a mum trying to do her best …..

Over 6 years ago Spud burst into my life. He is the best thing to have ever happened to me and I honestly couldn’t love him any more.

For 6 long years I feel like I have been fighting/battling and pleading for support.

Spud was over 7 when I adopted him. He is now the most georgous teenager.

Today I had a heated discussion with post adoption support manager and ended up crying and telling them that I had had enough of the fights, the battle and having to beg for support. 

I am not the one who caused my son neglect

I am not the one who abused my son

I am not the one who took drugs and alcohol while pregnant 

I am not the one who left my son to starve

I am not the one who put him in hospitial due to the injuries from abuse

I am not the one who who got high and couldn’t look after my son

But I am the one who is trying to put things right

Trying to make him feel safe, 

Helping him to learn to trust adults again,

Assisting him to make friends

Sitting for an hour every night rubbing his feet while he tries to sleep

The one who takes on the school to get the support he needs

Has a fight with the LA for the EHCP that is so desperately important

Sends emails begging for support to help him

Makes call after call chasing professionals for information/appointments and reports

I am the one who gave up work to ensure I could try do my best to meet my son’s needs

Who has cried so many times with sheer frustration

Who’s whole life bares no resemblance to the life I thought it would be

Today I decided that enough is enough and I can no longer go on fighting a system that should be there to support us. A system that is underfunded, short staffed and stretched to it’s limited but a system that made me cry again today. 

Today and everyday I am just a mum trying to do her best and being knocked back at every turn. 

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