Tag Archives: adoption


Through our home study we had the time and questions to reflect on our childhood, how our parents brought us up and the relationship we have with them now.  I enjoyed being able to look back and it really helped me to see how great my mum was and the childhood she gave us.  My dad worked away and she had 3 of us to raise.  At the time I think you just take your parents for granted and never really have the chance to look back or understand the difficulties they faced.

We have a great relationship now which has definitely grown, changed and deepened since I become a mum. I have a much greater respect for my mum and at times, in awe of how she juggled the 3 of us, worked part time and was mostly a single mum.  She didn’t drive or have home shopping like we do today.

It got me thinking that at no point during our journey to adoption did I ever ask my parents if they wanted or how they felt about becoming grandparents to an adopted child.  I never stopped to think was this what they wanted? What they understood or the impact on them. I was just caught up in the bubble of adoption and was focused on approval and then finding our child – spud.  They have been fantastic and treat spud the same as their other grandchildren as does most of my family.  I have been very selfish in my desire to be a mum and have a family, that I never looked at the impact on my parents and the rest of the family.

They do try their best to understand but if I had a pound for every time my dad said “don’t forget, we had 3 of you to deal with” or “every child does that” I would be very rich and could give up work!

The impact on my parents becoming grandparents to spud has been huge.  They have seen the difficulties, had their daughter crying down the phone in sheer frustration, seen the bruises caused by spud.  They have supported, brought chocolate and listened.  They have not always agrees with the decisions I have made or the way I parent spud but they stay strong and give me unwavering support at all times.

So to all the grandparents of adopted children, thank you.  I hope in 20 years time to be an amazing grandmother to my grandchildren.






The start that is not really the start

This is my first blog so please be gentle with me!

So this is not the start of my adoption journey, it is not the start of meeting my son nor is it the start of our life together.  This is the start of me feeling comfortable to share my thoughts with the outside world.

So who are we?

I am a 40ish married adoptive mum to spud. Spud is a cheeky, fun, lively, adorable little monkey. Spud has turned our lives upside down, back to front and thrown a few curve balls in as well. Mr Football is also 40ish and a great dad to spud.

Why reluctant football mum?  I hate football, never really seen the point of having 22 men running around on grass chasing a round thing unless Beckham is playing 🙂  When spud came home I suddenly found myself on the side of a football pitch, cheering, clapping and loving watching spud play.  I now rather enjoy Saturday mornings when the sun is out and “we” win the game.  Not loving it quiet as much when the rain is hammering down and “we” lose.  The change from avoiding football at all costs to looking forward to Saturday mornings is about as dramatic as you can get.  I think this sums up how much i have changed since I become an adoptive mum.

Please don’t ask me about the rules of football as I have no idea.  The off side rule makes no sense – anyone who can explain it in simple terms, please feel free.

I hope to share the highs, joys and laughs I have and hope you will be there through the lows and difficult times.